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Sex and Sexuality
Sexual Diversity
To some, the focus of the sexual seems scarcely to extend beyond the boundaries of genital acts; to others, the genitalia are only peripheral to the sexual.
Even identical sexual acts mean different things to different people.
Some spend a lot of time thinking about sex, others little.
Some people like to have a lot of sex, others little or none.
For some people, it is important that sex be embedded in contexts resonant with meaning, narrative, and connectedness with other aspects of their life
For other people, it is important that they not be
To others, it doesn't occur that they might be.
Some people like spontaneous sexual scenes, others like highly scripted ones, others like spontaneous-sounding ones that are nonetheless totally predictable.
Some people's sexuality is intensely marked by autoerotic pleasures and histories. For others, this possibility seems secondary, if it exists at all.
These differentiations can occur not just between people, but within the same person during different periods.
Sexual Preferences
| Fetishes
Sexual fetishism is when an "article of desire" is necessary for sexual arousal or satisfaction. The article could be lingerie, shoes, leather garments or underwear. The fixation also could be with a body part — breasts or feet are popular. Some less famous categories of fetishes include fat, blood, diapers, pee and poo. Those with fetishes, known at fetishists, are usually men, and they often masturbate while looking at or touching the object of their desire.
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| Sadomasochism
People who find cruelty and humiliation sexually stimulating are known as sadists (pain-givers) and masochists (pain-receivers), and their punishing sex play is referred to as sadomasochism, or S&M. Whipping and spanking are two common ways to inflict punishment during sex. They can be light and liven up "normal" lovers' sex lives or out of control and fraught with danger.
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| Exhibitionism
Psychiatrically speaking, exhibitionists are people who display their private parts in public to an unwilling audience, for sexual gratification. The psychological damage can be serious, particularly to children who are subjected to seeing genital "exhibition."
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| Voyeurism
From the French word "voir," meaning "to see," a voyeur describes a person who is sexually excited by spying on someone getting dressed, undressed or engaging in a sexual activity. Voyeurism is viewed as a serious crime, writes Dr. Ruth in her Encyclopedia of Sex, not only because the people being watched have no knowledge, but because the Peeping Toms sometimes assault the people they are spying on.
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| Swinging and Group Sex
Some couples consciously choose to involve other people in their sex play by participating in: A mènage à trois (a couple adds a third person to the mix); wife swapping (two couples trade partners); swinging (a group of couples meets and exchanges partners among themselves); or group sex, or an orgy (a group of strangers all join the sexual adventure).
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What is sexual orientation?
Sexual orientation is determined by the sex or sexes you are romantically, physically, emotionally, and sexually attracted to.
Heterosexuals
Individuals attracted to the opposite sex
Homosexuals
Individuals who are attracted to the same sex
Bisexuals
People who are attracted to both sexes.
Homosexual men are referred to as gay.
Homosexual women are referred to as lesbians.
What if I'm not sure what my sexual orientation is?
Discovering your sexual orientation can sometimes be confusing. Most people don't just wake up one day and decide their sexual orientation. It takes time and its normal not to be sure. Experimentation is natural - as long as you look out for the safety of yourself and others. You may want to date the individuals of the opposite sex or you may decide to date those of the same sex. Exploration doesn't determine your sexual orientation, it just helps to discover your feelings.
Do I have to have sex to know my sexual orientation?
No! You don't have to have sex to know if you're heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual. Some people never have sex in their entire life, but they know their sexual orientation. It's better to wait until you're emotionally ready and you find someone you care about. Sex can create more confusion then it can resolve. There are many ways to share intimacy with someone you care about, such as talking, spending time together, hugging, kissing, massaging, and holding hands.
If you do decide to have sex, it is important to remember to protect yourself and your partner and practice safer sex.
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